I was going to call this “Now with added commas,” but I’ve now used less, and in more sensible places*.
I’ve also tweaked some bits of dialogue, and lost some dot dot dots.
I’m starting by sending it to the agents that returned my synopsis unread (and in some instances unopened), and then I’m going to start trawling the Internet for more agents details and I’ll pester them too.
*I was with The Bear on Sunday, and I was typing a message to be displayed on a ‘Message Collider’ in the Science Museum. He looked over my shoulder and said, “Go on, add in another comma. I dare you.”